MINDFULNESS-BASED RELATING:

A Non-Violent Communication Workshop with Linda Kantor

14^th May 2011

“Most of us have been educated from birth to compete, judge, demand, diagnose - to think and communicate in terms of what is right and wrong with people.  At best, the habitual ways we think and speak hinder communication, and create misunderstanding and frustration in others and in ourselves. Still worse, they cause anger and pain and may lead to violence. Without wanting to, even people with the best of intentions generate needless conflict”. Marshall Rosenberg.

Using Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication, and mindfulness meditation, we will discover how when we move deeper inside of ourselves we can discover what is alive and vital within us, and learn better to communicate our needs. This allows for more fulfilling relationships and deeper connection with others and ourselves.

It is not always easy to free ourselves from the effects of our histories, and cultural conditioning. However with more awareness is it possible to work more skilfully with patterns of thought that can lead to conflict, anger and depression. By learning to communicate more effectively, we can create relationships that are based on cooperation and compassion as opposed to competition and aggression.

In this workshop, we will learn how to:

Observe without evaluating

Identify and express feelings

Take responsibility for our feelings

Request that would enrich life

Utilize the power of empathy

Connect compassionately with ourselves

Express anger safely

Date: Saturday 14^th May 2011

Time: 10h00 – 16h30

Venue: Constellation House, 5 Oakvale Road, Rondebosch, Cape Town

Cost: R980 (including tea and materials)

A 10% non-refundable deposit is required to secure your booking & full payment is to be made 1 week prior to the workshop.

Bookings: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

* Running of this workshop is dependent on numbers

(Please bring your own lunch, to share if you wish)

Linda Kantor is a registered Health Psychologist, Yoga and Meditation Teacher. She is also the co-director of the Cape Town Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Clinic.

Her unique approach blends creative techniques and mindfulness, ensuring participants receive a fresh opportunity to deepen self-awareness, and creatively explore new ways of being.

What is Non-Violent Communication?

Simply put, Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a way of relating to ourselves and others, moment to moment, free of past reactions. By learning to identify your needs and express them powerfully, as well as to bring understanding to the needs of others, you can stay connected to what is alive in you and create a life that is more fulfilling.

The intention in NVC is to:

Create human connections that empower compassionate giving and receiving.

Create governmental and corporate structures that support compassionate giving and receiving.

NVC involves both communication skills that foster compassionate relating and consciousness of the interdependence of our well-being and using power with others to work together to meet the needs of all concerned.

Non-violent relating combines the cultivation of present moment awareness through mindfulness practice, with the model of Non-Violent Communication, developed by Marshall Rosenberg.

Although we tend to think of violence as physical threat to our wellbeing, violence often manifests in ways that are more subtle and oftentimes unnoticed. Recognizing the prevalent violence in our language is a profound first step to practicing a life that is non-violent.

Non violence is a way of life that takes its lead from a compassionate heart and can guide us to a more complete and happy way of being.  It is rooted in understanding, living honestly, and acting empathetically with all beings. Gandhi said “non violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will. Its seat is in the heart and it must be an inseparable part of our very being” It necessitates a present and open heart.

The idea in nonviolent communication is that whenever we become disconnected from our compassionate nature we behave in ways that can cause pain for all, including ourselves.

Non violent communication (NVC) is a life-giving language, that helps transform old patterns of defensiveness into compassion and empathy. The intention to connect with ourselves and others is one of the most fundamental goals of NVC.  It creates a foundation for learning about ourselves and others right now and in every moment.  We live our lives most of the time on autopilot reacting out of habit rather than out of awareness and presence of mind.  By creating a space for attention and respect in every moment we have with NVC a pathway to making life more wonderful (as Marshall puts it) for ourselves and others.

The model is simple. It combines four components with two parts. The four components are specific actions and the two parts are a solid foundation for living nonviolently.

The four components simply put are:

Observation: without evaluation. Noticing concrete things and actions around us. We learn to distinguish between what we sense in the present and to observe what is there.

Feeling: noticing what’s around us results in emotions and physical sensations which provide information to us as to whether needs are being met or not.

Needs; we all have needs and values that sustain and enrich our lives-understanding this is a fundamental step in NVC

Request: making clear and concrete requests is crucial to bring about transformation in relationships

And the two parts:

Empathy: Being open and available to what is alive in others and also in ourselves.

Honesty: This begins with understanding ourselves and our needs in the moment. Giving from the heart is rooted in honesty.

Once learned the practice of NVC in itself is a meditation practice that is refined and felt more deeply over time.